Identify: Becoming a Warrior!
Introduction: the power of identity!
Having an identity is crucial. Knowing who I am or who I strive to become has been instrumental in my life. But what is identity and why does it matter? How does self-awareness impact life in a positive manner. Keep reading to find out…
What is identity?
Identity… what does it even mean? Dictionary.com describes it as “The condition or character as to who a person or what a thing is; qualities, beliefs, etc. that distinguish a person or being.” Merriam-Websters online dictionary has a similar definition, “The distinguishing character or personality of an individual.” (Notice the word ‘character in both definitions…). Simply put, identity is “who you are.”
Know who you are!
In a previous article, I talked about my difficult transition from the military to the private sector. There were various things that made this transition harder. I had lost my purpose and I believed I was no longer on a Team. Hardest of all was my loss of IDENTITY. To that point, being a Navy SEAL is who I was. It defined me. I was singularly focused. When I left the Navy, I had to either reinvent myself or realize I was more than what I did for a living…
As Socrates said: “To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.” There are countless other quotes saying the same thing. It is important to know who you are, but why? What makes self-awareness so important?
1). If you don’t know who you are, you will live for the approval of others. You cannot be all things to all people. Even if you could, it would be a road to nowhere. If you try to please others, you’ll end up pleasing no one…you’ll disappoint everyone, especially yourself.
2). When life gets hard, and it will, you must fall back to the basics. Nothing is more basic than your identity. In business, when times get tough, you rally around your Mission, your Values, and your Vision. In sports, when things don’t go as planned, you re-focus on what your team does well.
3). Most of all, identity shapes your thoughts, decisions, words, and deeds. What you think, the decisions you make, Things you say, and even what you DO is all shaped by who you are or who you strive to be. That is the focus of this blog article.
“Identity > Thoughts > Decisions > Words > Actions”
How identity shapes action.
My identity (who I am or desire to be as a man) informs EVERYTHING for me. It is the base upon which my life is built. It informs my thoughts, decisions, words and most importantly my actions.
Here’s an example, “Because I’m a father, I will wake up early and take my daughter to basketball, and I will not stay out late tonight.” In this instance, being a father shapes how I think, decisions I make, and things I do or do not do. Try it for yourself: “Because I’m a _____, I will do _____ and I won’t do _____.” Important note: sometimes what you DON’T do is just as important as what you WILL do!
Actions are more important than words.
Our actions are important. What we do or don’t do matters. It’s much easier to say we are going to do something than to execute and do it. Similarly, it’s much easier to have a goal then actually accomplish it. Words do matter. Action matters more! Action creates clarity.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes from Aristotle: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” He said it better than I ever could. Our actions leave behind proof of who we are.
These actions can individual or stand-alone tasks, or complex tasks related to larger projects. They can also be those things we do regularly, also known as habits. For this article, we’ll focus mostly on habits. As Aristotle tells us, it’s what we repeatedly do that matters.
Why are habits important?
Habits are important. They have the power to change your life. These are those things, big or small, that you repeatedly do. They can be good or bad. Good habit: “Get 7-8 hours of sleep.” Bad habit: “Smoke cigarettes.” These small things often don’t make much of a difference at first. They do make a huge difference over time. Eating right and working out one day will not move the needle. Eating right and training regularly for years makes a HUGE difference.
Aviators know the importance of small changes. If a plane alters course by just one degree, it will be off by .2 inches after 1 foot of travel. After 100 yards, it will be off by only 5.2 feet. Not a huge deal. After a mile, it’s now off by 92.2 feet. If it was flying from San Francisco to Washington D.C., the plane would land up in Baltimore, missing the mark by 42.6 miles. Small changes make a huge difference over long enough time.
As James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, said in a recent podcast, “The results you want are a lagging measure of your habits.” Put another way if you want certain results you need to develop certain habits. Habits are the actions that shape outcomes. Winners and losers have the same goal. Habits can decide who wins the game.
If you want to dive deeper on habits, I recommend checking out both “Atomic Habits” by James Clear and “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg. Both are good resources for identifying and developing your own habits.
How identity shapes habits?
What does identity have to do with habits? As I mentioned earlier, I believe strongly that my identity shapes how I think or feel, the decisions I make, the words I say, and the way I behave…the things I do or don’t do…and most importantly the things I do repeatedly…my habits.
Why does that matter? Too often we try to either quit a old habit or start a new one. At first, we rely on motivation. Later, when motivation wanes, we rely on our willpower. Like motivation, will-power is a finite resource. We only have so much.
Sure, discipline or ‘self-control’ is important. As a more famous Navy SEAL often says, “Discipline equals Freedom.” I agree. When our motivation fails, we must rely on our discipline. Discipline gives us the ability to do what we know must be done regardless of how we think or feel.
For me, there’s an easier way. It comes from my identity. “Because I am _____, I will do _____ and I will not do _____.” I know who I am, and it informs by thoughts, decisions, and actions. It takes less discipline for me to do _____. There are times when I still need discipline to do _____ (wake up at 5:30am!), but I save that ‘self-control’ for when I need it most!
What is my identity?
As you can see, I consider my own identity not only who I am now but also that person I’m striving to become. Sometimes, the blessing or reward is not the accomplishment, but the person I become in pursuit of an ideal. What is my identity?
I am a Christian. I believe God created the heavens and the earth and all of us creatures here on it. I also believe we are flawed, and He sent his son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.
I am a husband and a father. These are two distinct responsibilities, but I’m lumping them in to simplify this article. As a husband and father, it is my duty to Love, Lead, Provide and Protect my wife and kids.
I am a family man and friend. After my own family (my wife and kids), I will strive to also be there for others, my parents, siblings, nieces, nephews, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, and my friends. I am someone others can rely on.
I am an American. I love my country and served it for as long as I could. I know our country is not perfect, but there’s no better one (IMO) on earth.
I am healthy and fit. I take care of my health so I can be around longer for those I love. I stay fit so I can do certain things for myself and others.
I am a hard worker and good teammate. I do what it takes to get the job done, strive to be the best teammate I can be, and make the whole team better.
I am a good steward of my resources. This includes my time, talents, and treasures. I will do my best to use all of these to help others and honor God in the process!
But that’s too many things?
Yes, I agree. This is a LOT. I believe it’s important to articulate what you are in detail. Then, simplify it down to a sentence or two that helps REMIND you who you are. How do I simplify a list this big?
As I look at the list, I realize there’s a common theme. Most of who I am or trying to become revolves around serving others (God, Wife, Kids, Family, Friends, Country, Co-Workers, etc.).
Who am I?
It took me awhile to articulate this into so few words… but now I realize, I am a Warrior. This is who I have always been or have strived to become. I am a warrior for God, Family, Friends, Co-workers, and of course my Country!
“I am a Warrior!”
Being a warrior is a calling. It pops into my mind all the time, often several times a day. I’ve always been a warrior at heart. That’s why I joined the military, became a Navy SEAL, and served my country. That’s why I now do what I can help or serve others.
It’s NOT about violence, though a warrior must be willing and able to fight for themselves or others. Warrior culture is sensationalized in books and movies. The real history of some of these warriors is somewhat gruesome. As much as we love watching our Viking shows on Netflix, for most, in the past, the sight of Vikings on the horizon was not a good thing.
To me, being a warrior is more about being courageous and willing to sacrifice comfort and convenience for others. As I’ve already articulated, for God, Family, Friends, Teammates, and my Countrymen and women.
You do NOT have to be in the military to be a warrior. You don’t need to step foot onto a battlefield to help/serve others. History is FULL of warriors greater than I who NEVER served in the military or fought on a literal battlefield. Consider Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mother Teresa just to name a few. Many do not think of them as ‘warriors.’ But they fought the good fight in ways much bigger than myself and my teammates in the military. The impact they made lives on well past their own time on earth.
You are NEVER too old, and it is NEVER too late to be a warrior. As the SEAL ethos says, “I am NEVER out of the fight!” You can be a warrior, in one way or another, until the day you die! Consider Caleb from the Old Testament. He was an adult when he entered the desert enroute to the promised land. He was approximately 40 years old when he first went to spy out the land flowing with milk and honey. Then, due to a lack of faith by most of his countrymen, he wondered the desert for another 40 years. When he finally got returned to the promised land, he was roughly 80 years old, and still willing and able to fight actual battles for his countrymen. He was truly wholehearted!
What does that mean?
Because I am a warrior (or strive to be one), I think differently. I make different decisions. I try to watch my tongue and speak as a warrior would. I value certain character traits more so than comfort or convenience. It even makes me more intentional about what I consume, from the food I eat to the things I watch or read. Most of all, I try to act or behave differently. I fail plenty, but that doesn’t change my aim or the ideal towards which I strive.
Warriors control themselves, their body, their mind, their emotions, their actions. Not the other way around. They don’t let their vices control them. When they fail, and they fail plenty, they hold themselves accountable. They remember who they are, or who they are trying to be. They get back up, refocus their aim and continue mission.
How do I do this? It’s simple, but not easy. I will once again quote James Clear who said: “Decide who you want to be and prove it to yourself with small wins.” He’s obviously smarter and more articulate than me. I couldn’t say it any better! I try to prove it to myself with small wins daily.
What about motivation?
Yes, motivation will wane, along with willpower. That doesn’t mean I don’t try to motivate myself to be better. One thing that also helps me are Bible verses and famous quotes. Here are two of my favorites:
“And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall we send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” – Isaiah 6:8 ESV.
This verse epitomizes the warrior spirit, the willingness to go do what must be done, and stand in the gap for others. It also reminds me that I am first, and foremost, here to honor and glorify God.
“Out of every hundred men, ten shouldn’t even be there, eighty are just targets, nine are real fighters, and we are lucky to have them, for they make the battle. Ah, but the one, one is a warrior, and he will bring others back.” – Heraclitus
This quote really fires me up! It makes me want to be prepared to help or defend others. It also sets an ideal towards which I aim. In most instances, I am just one of the “nine real fighters” who helps “make the battle” or as the Apostle Paul would say, someone who “Fights the good fight.” Again, I often fall short. That doesn’t mean I change my aim…
Summary
My identity is important, and I know who I am. Motivation and discipline help. Self-awareness takes me further. I strive towards being a warrior, not for myself but for others. This changes how I think, the decisions I make, the things I say, and everything I do. It also informs what I should NOT do. I fall short regularly, but I own it when I screw up and it doesn’t change my aim.
Who will you strive to become?
Thank you for visiting my blog. This is my first article and I couldn’t think of a better place to start!